


Who Run the World?

by ThrillingDetectiveTales



Category: Iron Man: Armored Adventures
Genre: Gen, the opening scene to what would be the one where Pepper joins SHIELD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 14:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11315634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThrillingDetectiveTales/pseuds/ThrillingDetectiveTales
Summary: "Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Vixen is too sexy." Pepper takes a thoughtful sip of her Frappucino. "Do you think it's too sexy? I don't want to insinuate anything or make misleading implications, you know? Not thatIdon't think I'm sexy, of course. I could probably pull off a honey trap, I just don't know if I want that to be mything.""Does S.H.I.E.L.D. even do honey traps?" Tony asks, distracted. "It seems sort of unethical."Pepper raises an eyebrow at him.





	Who Run the World?

**Author's Note:**

> Cleaning out my drafts again and found this super old ficbit from a much larger story about Pepper from Iron Man: Armored Adventures - which I watched like, one season of - joining S.H.I.E.L.D. and falling in love with her only a few years older probationary agent instructor. I didn't get that far into it but I liked what I had so here it is. Enjoy!

Pepper dials Tony from the outdoor seating area of a Starbucks, victory Frappucino triumphantly in hand. Tony picks up almost immediately, reaffirming his position as Pepper's most favorite person ever.

"How'd it go?" he asks anxiously the moment his video feed syncs up.

"Tony, I did it, I passed!" Pepper does a little dance, spinning in a circle and jumping up and down a few times. Her enthusiasm draws suspicious side-eye from a woman picking over a cranberry scone at a table by the door but Pepper has been stared down by scarier things than a frazzled yoga mom. "I did it, I did it, _I did it_ , oh my God, I can't believe it, _I did it!"_

"That's great, Pep!" Tony says eagerly. His brilliant smile fades as he frowns at something in the distance.

"I mean, there's a twelve-month probationary period, of course, but that only makes sense, right?” Pepper takes a quick pull off of her straw, mouth flooding with glorious, icy caramel. “Shady government agencies wouldn't be shady government agencies if they let any old hack join, but assuming I do well - and let's be honest, I am going to kick _ass_ at this - I could totally - "

"No, Hadley, not -" Tony starts.

There's the loud, rattling boom of an explosion in the distance. Because she's lived the life she's lived, Pepper glances briefly around to make sure it's not some jumped-up baddie trying to burgle the local diamond exchange or something before turning her attention back to the screen tucked into the curve of her palm. The image of Tony on-screen starts flashing red as emergency lights kick on, the familiar alarms of the Stark Solutions R&D lab screaming to life in the background. Ah, good, just a lab accident, then.

The woman with the scone glares at the sudden, grating shriek.

" - be a real, actual agent by this time next year!" Pepper continues happily, immune to the sudden chaos. Tony's prototypes explode all the time. This one didn't even manage to trigger the overhead sprinkler system so it's probably nothing to worry about. "I wonder if they'll give me a cool code name, like Mockingbird, or Hawkeye? Ooh, maybe I could be Sparrowhawk! Or Cobra! Or Vixen!"

A harried looking young woman in glasses and a lab coat rushes across the screen behind Tony, clutching a fire extinguisher to her chest. Tony calls over his shoulder, "Good hustle, Ramona!"

"Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Vixen is too sexy." Pepper takes a thoughtful sip of her Frappucino. "Do you think it's too sexy? I don't want to insinuate anything or make misleading implications, you know? Not that _I_ don't think I'm sexy, of course. I could probably pull off a honey trap, I just don't know if I want that to be my _thing_."

"Does S.H.I.E.L.D. even do honey traps?" Tony asks, distracted. "It seems sort of unethical."

Pepper raises an eyebrow at him.

"Of course they do honey traps! Or did you forget that time you caught the Black Widow? That's basically her entire resumé!" Pepper pauses, considering, and amends, "Well, okay, _technically_ most of her record is blacked out, but pretty much all the declassified stuff is honey traps. I bet those kinds of missions are on a voluntary basis, though, because I don't think you could really pull it off if you had a serious moral opposition to it, you know? Like, I don't think I could muster up a really convincing o-face for a lot of people but if I was assigned to swindle confidential information out of like, _Zendaya_  or something - "

The woman with the scone gasps, scandalized. Pepper ignores her. It's 2017; she should be able to appreciate the universal appeal of America's sweetheart.

" - I could probably make that happen. She seems like she's probably pretty good in bed. I wonder if Black Widow has ever had to be a honey trap for someone who was really bad at sex?"

"Pep."

"Everybody can't be a pro, after all, and I'm pretty sure most of the rich weirdoes she's assigned to are used to just exchanging fancy trips and jewelry and cars and stuff for their orgasms - "

The woman packs her scone up and flounces inside with a huff. Pepper waves at her with the few fingers she can spare as she goes.

_"Pep."_

" - which is a pretty great metaphor for current attitudes toward sex in the media, now that I think about it - "

"Pepper!" Tony hollers.

Pepper blinks at him. "What?"

"Hand," Tony instructs with a fond smirk.

Pepper rolls her eyes but dutifully clamps a palm over her mouth as best as she can with an iced beverage in hand, per an arrangement she and Tony made during freshman year of college when Tony realized that the only way to get Pepper to stop speaking was to render her physically incapable of doing so. She can't help the breathless, giddy fits of giggling that keep washing over her, but Tony can deal.

He flashes her a genuine, if preoccupied, smile.

"I have kind of a situation right now, so why don't you call Rhodey and pick somewhere to celebrate tonight? My treat."

Pepper nods. Tony gives a thumbs up.

"Okay, great. I need to take care of this - oh my _God_ , Hadley!" Tony glares at something off-screen. "Just step back, you're making it worse!" He pinches the bridge of his nose and turns his attention back to Pepper. "I'll call you once I have this disaster contained."

A broad grin splits his face and he adds, "I'm proud of you, Pep. I knew you could do it."

Pepper lets the hand-slash-gently-sweating-plastic-cup over her mouth fall away so she can grin back.

"Call Rhodey," Tony repeats sternly, wagging a finger at her. "Pick a place."

"Call Rhodey, pick a place," Pepper parrots back. Tony shoots her another thumbs up and goes to slip his phone into his pocket. Pepper catches a brief glimpse of what appear to be bright tongues of green flame licking up the interior of a huge glass cylinder.

" _No_ you're not _fired!_ You're an intern! I can't fire you because _you don’t really work here!"_ Tony shouts, and then the screen goes dark.

Pepper takes a few absent steps, and leans against the low fence while she scrolls through her contacts for Rhodey's name, programmed alongside an appropriately unflattering photograph of him on one of those water-park rollercoaster rides that Pepper had snapped off the cheesy slideshow of unattractive ride-participant portraiture after the three of them had emerged, drenched and howling with laughter from a cart shaped like a split log. She tucks her phone into the crook of her neck, holding it in place with her shoulder, and taps her foot in time with Rhodey's ring-back tone.

From a table in the corner a blue-haired boy peers over a monstrous pile of reference materials, MacBook balanced precariously on his knees, and says, "Zendaya, right?"

"Right!" Pepper agrees delightedly.

There's a buzz and a click and then Rhodey's voice comes down the line, tinny and distant.

“ - lo? Hello? Pepper? Can you hear me?"

He uses a crappy Nokia flip-phone because he and Tony are mired in a three-way standoff with each other and the U.S. Army. The Army won't let Rhodey use the custom Starkphone that Tony made unless they're given access to its technical specs, which Tony mulishly refuses to supply despite Rhodey's cajoling, so Rhodey punishes Tony by employing substandard technology.

Pepper finds the whole situation abjectly ridiculous, but if Rhodey is willing to subject himself to blown-out plosives every time she gets excited during a phone call, that's his hill to die on.

"Rhodey! I did it!" Pepper shrieks, the tenuous connection crackling with feedback. She propels herself off the fencing and spins in a circle again, doing a little shimmy because why the hell not? She's going to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent; there will be plenty of time to be stoic and serious later. "I did it, I did it, _I did it!"_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
